My hearing soulmate Spartacus

 

 When it comes to understanding deafness many people find it a mystery. Unlike other disabilities, being deaf is hidden, leaving people to create their perception of what deafness is and what to do when encountering someone who’s deaf. But what society rarely thinks about is the dating lives of deaf people.  The biggest misconceptions about dating someone who is deaf, plus how to overcome challenges.

It’s time to uncover the biggest misconceptions about the dating lives of deaf people. That way, we can work towards eliminating them, creating more of an understanding and cohesive society.

Even though disabled singles dating is flourishing, non-disabled individuals usually assume that whether you’re deaf or physically disabled, you don’t date. And we all know that’s just plain crazy.

1. Choosing where to go on a date is difficult... Really? 

Many people wonder where they would take their date if they were deaf. But deciding where to take your date shouldn’t be that hard. Yes, they’re deaf, but that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy grabbing a cup of coffee, watching a movie (with subtitles), or simply ask them where and what would make them feel comfortable. 

Dating a deaf person is the same as dating a non-deaf person. Instead of worrying about where to take them because they’re deaf, focus on finding places where you two can get to know each other... Period.

2. Deaf people can’t talk on dates 😱 says who? Ignorance 

In reality, some deaf people can speak very well. Their ability to speak depends on the individual and their background.

Some deaf people decide not to speak due to difficulties with volume and pitch. While other deaf people work with speech pathologists to improve their speech. If you think you won’t be able to have a conversation with a deaf person, you’re wrong.

3. If you’re not deaf, it won’t work  🤣

Many people assume that if you’re deaf you need to date someone who’s also deaf. There’s this idea that since you’re both deaf, it’ll be easier to understand each other, But that is absurd.

A non-deaf individual maybe hasn’t had the same life experiences as a deaf person. But that doesn’t mean they can’t relate to one another.

If this was the case then the world would be in chaos. No one would be able to connect with other people from various cultures or religions. But people learn to have empathy, understanding and feelings of another person.

If you’re deaf, you can date someone who’s not deaf and have a healthy and loving relationship. Deafness doesn’t interfere or determine the connection two people have I can vouch for that in my case my cat Spartacus 💙 

4. Dating someone who’s deaf is a lot of work 

People assume that dating someone who’s deaf requires more effort and work than dating someone who’s not deaf. To some extent, it’s true. Dating someone who’s deaf does take effort. You will need to work on finding an effective way to communicate with each other. But you have this challenge in any relationship.

All relationships require effort and constant work. Non-deaf people struggle with communication; it’s a serious problem most couples have. If anything, dating someone who is deaf pushes you to immediately deal with communication issues instead of ignoring them. hearing loss can make you feel alone in the world, many people understand exactly what you’re going through. Don’t underestimate the impact of hearing loss on your partner. Often, both halves of a couple will report frustration, a sense of isolation, and resentment toward their partner. These negative ramifications can also occur when one half of a couple suffers from tinnitus as well as being deaf or hard of hearing.

However, you don’t have to let a hearing loss or tinnitus damage your relationships. If you and your partner support one another, keep the lines of communication open and seek out therapy if and when needed, you can preserve and perhaps even strengthen your relationship despite the impact of hearing loss.

couples with arms around each other walking on the beach, the park or simply out shopping... Simple day to day life has a massive impact and many say that their hearing loss had caused their relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners to suffer. Hearing loss may affect your relationships in one or all of the following ways:

Decrease in quality communication

Provoke arguments between partners

Reduce the couple’s ability to enjoy favourite pastimes

Strain a couple financially

Cause the caretaker to resent their partner

Give rise to loneliness

Cause the couple to withdraw socially

Decrease intimate conversations and casual humour

 Is Hearing Loss the Silent Killer of Relationships? 

conversation deteriorating, communications consist of shouting, parties are no longer fun, the volume of the TV became a major source of discord.  Many seemingly small things add up quickly in these situations, creating a wall in a previously harmonious relationship many have experienced.

Hearing loss isn’t alone in its ability to threaten happy couples; tinnitus can hurt relationships in a variety of ways as well. This shouldn’t come as a surprise when you consider how drastically tinnitus can affect your life. Tinnitus can increase your stress levels, reduce your ability to concentrate, drain your energy, lower your libido, and make it difficult to enjoy the things you once loved – including your romantic partner. Some believe that tinnitus-related stress is most detrimental to their relationships, while others cite their partner’s lack of understanding and compassion. It doesn’t help that tinnitus (like hearing loss) is not a visible health condition, so it doesn’t naturally spark an empathetic response in the same way that a wheelchair or a crutch might.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

The number of adults (ages 20 or older) with hearing loss is expected to increase by 30 million (8 per cent) from 2020 to 2060. So if you aren’t currently experiencing the impact of hearing loss in one way or another, you likely will be soon – if not through personal experience than through a friend or family member. To mitigate the adverse effects of hearing loss on your relationships, focus on communication, compassion, independence, and treatment. To learn more about how tinnitus is affecting your life, speak to specialists. 

Read my blog on Tinnitus:http://mynonvisualstruggles.blogspot.com/2019/03/tinnitus-involuntary-perception-of-sound.html?m=1

TREASURE YOUR ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE

Communication is the cornerstone of a solid relationship. If you and your partner cannot openly discuss how hearing loss affects your relationship, your silence may breed frustration and anger. Without a solid bridge of communication, both you and your partner may feel lonely, isolated, unsupported, and unheard. So instead of bottling up your worries and frustrations, share them. Reflect on your experience with hearing loss as a couple, listening to one another and acknowledging the difficulties.

Don’t underestimate relatively brief communication either. While intimate discussions are important in a relationship, so are little jokes and brief updates. The little things mean a lot in the long run and can help strengthen a couple’s connection.

EXERCISE COMPASSION

Whether you or your loved one live with hearing loss or tinnitus, develop compassion to better understand your partner and acknowledge their frustrations.

Take a moment to think about how your health condition affects the people around you. It may feel as if you’re the only one struggling, but your struggle rubs off on everyone around you. And if you refuse to seek treatment, you are putting your relationships at risk. Consider how your battle with hearing loss has rubbed off on your partner, friends, and family members. Have you limited the quality time you spend with them? Have you grown reliant on your partner’s help? Do you annoy your partner? Instead of viewing hearing loss as something that you’re dealing with, think of it as something you’re both working through together.

If your partner suffers from hearing loss, try wearing earplugs for a day to put yourself in his or her shoes. You might think you know how hearing loss affects many aspects of day-to-day life, but do you? Not only is it difficult to hear another person speak, but you won’t be able to enjoy sounds in the same way and you may feel unsafe because you can’t fully hear important sound cues. Especially in conversation, hearing loss doesn’t just muffle volume; it also dampens details. When you lose the nuances of a conversation (tone, intonation, subtle vocalisations), it’s difficult to carry on a pleasant and engaging discussion.

Also, remember that there is a lot more to hearing loss than simply struggling to hear sounds. The impact of hearing loss can cause the person to feel frustrated, embarrassed, depressed, or even angry. Imagine constantly lipreading, asking people to repeat themselves, and pretending that everything is okay. If you struggle with the experiment of wearing earplugs for one day (or perhaps even a few hours), just imagine what it’s like to have hearing loss 24/7.

FOSTER INDEPENDENCE

If your partner suffers from hearing loss, you may have been tempted at one time or another to “help” them by giving in to their demands. Or when your hard-of-hearing partner encounters a problem, you might step in and attempt to cover it up. Against your better judgment, you might find yourself doing the following:

Repeating yourself constantly

Interpreting missed messages

“Filling in the gaps” that your partner doesn’t hear

Making phone calls for your partner

Agreeing to avoid social situations that cause your partner distress

Agreeing that you mumble or speak softly when you know that isn’t true

Refusing to acknowledge that your partner suffers from hearing loss

While these may seem like innocent favours, over time they can cause your partner to rely on you. In your quest to help the person you love, you may be hurting them by promoting co-dependence. Although it can be hard to deny your loved one something they want, remember that encouraging co-dependence will not fix the underlying problem. It may cause your loved one to delay seeking out much-needed treatment.

Finally, by giving in to your partner’s demands, you may experience resentment and anger toward your partner. It’s exhausting to be someone else.

Being deaf I've never had help and I don't want to see people in the future going through my struggles.

You know yourself better than anybody out there so make the changes you need before it's too late... I have found the hearing yin to my deaf yang my one-eyed wonder 💙

Love always 💜 AK